

“For example, in a harsh work environment where employees are continually disrespected and overworked, a manager may refer to the company as treating one another ‘like family’ when that phrasing may gaslight the experience of the employees,” she says. It comes up in situations where someone feels defensive, such as in arguments and disagreements - but, it can also be unprovoked and occur outside an argument, says Douglas. Gaslighting is “rooted in social inequities,” including race and gender, and is common in instances where there’s a power differential, according to an American Sociological Review report. But, gaslighting can occur in any relationship - with a partner, spouse, friend, sibling, co-worker or boss - where someone tries to wield power over another person and manipulate them.

You might associate gaslighting with romantic relationships, where it can be a form of domestic abuse. You can also use the details below if you find yourself gaslighting others. Here are 18 common phrases gaslighters often use when confronted, and more information below about how you can empower yourself to respond to gaslighting. Sometimes, it’s even harsher, like someone is trying to belittle you or damage or chip away at your self-esteem.” Hairston says, “It’s trying to distract you or deflect guilt or accountability and responsibility. Gaslighters strive to make someone lose trust and confidence in themselves or feel confused about reality, Dr. When she brings it up, he tells her she’s forgetful, imagining things and behaving oddly, and isolates her from others. In the movie, a wife starts to doubt her sanity after her manipulative husband starts slowly dimming the gas lamps in their home and making other changes to their environment. The term originated from a 1938 play by Patrick Hamilton and the 1944 film adaptation Gaslight. It previously referred to extreme manipulation that could lead to someone developing a mental illness or needing to be committed to a psychiatric institution, but the APA says it’s used more generally now.

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse, where someone is manipulated into “doubting his or her perceptions, experiences, or understanding of events,” according to the American Psychological Association (APA). This leaves victims of gaslighting questioning a past or present situation, as well as the intentions of others’ statements or actions and whether they’re reacting appropriately. She adds that gaslighters accuse their victims of exaggerating or misunderstanding a situation and sometimes deny that an event ever happened. Gaslighting takes place when someone “tries to get another person or a group of people to question or doubt their own beliefs or their own reality,” explains Danielle Hairston, M.D., assistant professor of psychiatry and psychiatry residency training director at Howard University. But there are hallmark expressions and tactics that most can learn to associate with this toxic practice once they've learned to do so - “You’re blowing things way out of proportion.” “You’re misunderstanding what I’m saying.” “You’re just crazy.” If you're catching yourself recognizing these phrases while confronting your partner, sibling or your boss, all while constantly second-guessing yourself or apologizing for things you can't recall, you've fallen victim to gaslighting. Gaslighting can occur in unique ways in some of the most damaging, unhealthy relationships, where the other party manipulates conversations to minimize your feelings.
